MISCELLANEOUS CHRISTMAS JOKES
1) How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer 'Olive'?
Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
2) Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
3) One Christmas, I got a battery with a note saying, "toy not included".
4) All I want for Christmas is a box of Smurfs and a mallet.
5) I don't care who you are, fatso. Get the reindeer off my roof!
6) What do you call someone afraid to be in a small room full of fat guys with beards wearing red suits?
7) Give children mental blocks for Christmas.
8) The three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger. One of the wise men was exceptionally tall and bumped his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable. "Jesus Christ!" he shouted. Joseph said, "Write that down, Mary. It's better than Clyde!"
9) Why The Little Angel Sits On Top Of The Christmas Tree...
On Christmas Eve, Santa Claus was getting ready for his annual trip. As he pulled his favorite pair of red pants on, they ripped. So, he had to take them off and put on another pair, which was a bit too tight. He then went to check on the rest of the preparations. The elves were on strike. The reindeer had shin-splints; the vet bill was enormous. At this point, Santa was bummed. He went into the kitchen to take a calming drink, and the bottle was empty. Now he was really mad. All of sudden, there was a knock at the door. Santa, in his angry state, ignored it. There was another knock. Santa was in no mood for all of this. When the knock came again, Santa, filled with rage, threw open the door. Standing there was a little angel who said, "Hi Santa! What do you want me to do with this Christmas Tree?"